By Ellyn Bader, Ph.D. and Peter Pearson, Ph.D.


Your husband cheated on you, or called you “fat” in public. He spent the night out with the boys while you worked overtime. You retaliated by spiking his coffee with horseradish That’s called revenge, and it happens all the time in relationships – but is it such a bad thing? It’s quite natural, according to some experts. But it’s still not the best way to relate with your partner.

The feeling of and need for revenge is an intensely human and natural reaction to stress and negative feedback. It is present in most societies, and people often use it as a “punishment” when they believe someone has overlooked a wrong or transgression. As most couples know, revenge can feel sweet when it’s at the expense of a spouse who’s gone too far in some way, or created animosity in the relationship.

Scientists believe the need for revenge is hereditary, and that when people react to insults, they show increased activity in the left prefrontal cortex of the brain. This is the same area of the brain that is active when people are ready to gratify hunger and some other physical cravings, and that satisfaction may be what makes revenge seem so sweet. It’s not so much about being angry, but being ready to express the anger, and that expression is pleasurable. So, as one scientist notes, sometimes people get angry for the same reason they chew on chocolate, it’s pleasurable, and relieves stress.

Revenge may be natural and satisfying, but it’s not good for healthy relationships.  In fact, if insults fly too thick and fast at your house, it can be quite damaging to your relationship, both short-term and long term. Do you understand you may be undermining your relationship? Is that short-term satisfaction really worth hurting your partner’s feelings in the long run? Do you get more satisfaction out of the insults than the apology? Can you apologize? What about when the insults get too bad, and you wish you hadn’t said them? Can you deal with the guilt?

While trading insults and getting sweet revenge on your partner may be satisfying, in the long term, it can severely damage your relationship, and the trust you have in one another. Forgiveness is a much better option, even if it doesn’t seem as satisfying in the moment, because forgiveness allows you to move past the transgression and move on with your relationship with more understanding and compassion for one another.

Even if you’re not out for revenge, your behavior can inadvertently hurt your partner’s feelings. We have created a quick process that helps remove the sting and helps couples rapidly repair the damage. It’s just one of the many resources available to members of our Online Couples Community. You can overcome tempting natural reactions like revenge and form a stronger, happier marriage.

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Peter Pearson, Ph.D. and Ellyn Bader, Ph.D. are founders and directors of The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California. As therapists, workshop leaders, authors, speakers, and as a married couple themselves, they are dedicated to helping couples create extraordinary relationships. They have been featured on over 80 radio and television programs including “The Today Show” and “CBS Early Morning News.” They have written a free report, “7 Steps to Change Your Partner Now.” Drop by  www.TheCouplesInstitute.com for your copy today.

Managing your stress is vital to your health if you want to lessen the heartburn symptoms you endure on a daily basis. Although there isn’t a scientific connection between heartburn and stress, there’s lots of evidence for an indirect link.

Stress can cause us to eat too much, choose the wrong foods, lose sleep, and take up addictive behaviors such as smoking or drinking. These actions will compound the problem if they end up worsening your heartburn.

If chronic heartburn is a problem for you, you need to take a close look at the stressors in your life so you can get rid of them. Is it your relationships? Your job? Is it financial problems or an overly hectic schedule? Any of these can add to the stress in your life and result in heartburn if the pressure causes you to make bad lifestyle decisions.

As you start to realize the situations that are causing your discomfort, you are in a better position to prevent chronic heartburn by easing your stress levels. Can you enroll in counseling or carve some time out for you to relax and enjoy life a bit more?

Sometimes you can alleviate stress, and ultimately get heartburn relief, by improving your life in different areas. Add exercise to your daily routine if you don’t already do it. It may help you lose weight, too, which can help reduce your heartburn symptoms if you’re overweight.

If you just need to unwind and relax, try meditation or massage. Even though they might not directly ease your heartburn, they can slow the pace of your life and let you unwind and enjoy a lifestyle that will reduce the frequency of heartburn attacks.

Perhaps setting aside time each day to listen to your favorite music will help to relax you and still your mind. This style of relaxing can keep you from smoking, eating too much, and consuming excess alcohol. These activities can all cause you to experience the discomfort of heartburn.

If you prefer to replace your habits with something positive, try learning how to laugh more. Give your mood a boost, drop stress, and lose your troubles by searching out humor in the world around you.

Seek out methods of reducing stress and preventing heartburn symptoms that won’t put you in financial jeopardy. You want to avoid adding financial problems to your misery, and there are lots of cheap ways to manage your heartburn and enjoy your life.

When a person’s body begins to resist insulin that person will then be diagnosed as suffering from Type II diabetes, which in turn will lead to the presence of high levels of insulin in the body and that will then lead to the cells in the body being unable or even resist being able to absorb glucose. When this happens the blood sugar starts to reach heights that are not good for a person’s health, and that is when it becomes necessary to start thinking about diabetes control diet.

Starving Cells

When your body has begun to resist insulin your cells will then begin to starve, even if you have just eaten a meal. The starving cells causes the brain to interpret the starvations signals that it receives as being signs of real starvation and the brain will, in turn begin to release signals that cause a diabetic patient to feel hungry; especially for carbohydrates. The result? Stimulation of the production of insulin begins which then results in the cells beginning to absorb glucose.

The body must be controlled and prevented from burning glucose and this is where diabetes control diet comes in handy because it will teach you how to stop eating carbohydrates. What a proper diabetes control diet will do is help you channel the body’s intake in such a manner that it will start to burn fat instead of glucose. Use of a hormone known as glucagon (which is a hormone, like some others, that helps to make the body burn up fat) helps set off a process in which fat gets burnt up. In addition, glucagon also makes the body transform its existing reserves of fat into much needed glucose.

When the blood in your body contains insulin there is a cessation in the production of glucagon and when a diabetic has to inject insulin into the body he or she will inadvertently be injecting the very thing that is preventing their body from burning fat. A good diabetes control diet is the way out!

When you become aware of a diabetes control diet, you will immediately understand that it is necessary to lower the consumption of carbohydrates, sugar as well as flour, and instead, you must begin eating foods that contain more proteins. You would also do well to check out various kinds of diabetes diets and carefully evaluate each in order to conclude which of them the best diabetes diet is; and then follow the best one.

The main benefit to following a diabetes control diet is that you can get off taking in insulin and instead begin to eat low-carb foods which will help the cells in your body overcome their resistance to insulin and in turn, keep diabetes under control.

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To lose 20 pounds in 30 days, you are going to have to burn a lot of calories and watch what you eat.  You are going to have to get off your butt and do some exercises that will get results fast.  If you try to lose 20 pounds in 30 days by starving yourself, you will not get lasting results.

The whole point of losing weight is to keep it off and not yoyo up and down with the same weight.  So why try drastic solutions that will only provide temporary weight loss when you can use a little more discipline and achieve lasting results that you can be happy with for years.

Even celebrities who go on strict diets like the lemonade diet or apple cider vinegar diet eventually have to go to a more sensible diet plan.  Strict diets that restrict most foods are not healthy long term.

The key is to stick with a diet plan that you can live with for the rest of your life.

Besides, what good is making a good first impression on a first date when the next time you are 5 or 10 pounds heavier and not as attractive as you were on the first date when you were starving yourself?

You do not have to be in the gym all day to drop 20 pounds in a month but you do have to do some short intense workouts.  One way to do this is with kettlebells.  You can get your cardio and resistance in at the same time burning fat and building muscle at the same time.

You also need to add tons or lean protein to your meals.  This will keep you fuller longer which will prevent you from overeating.

With a little discipline and a lot of hard work, you can easily lose 20 pounds in 30 days

There is nothing better or safer then having perfect vision, when it comes to eyesight. There is a lot more to it then just not having to deal with contacts or glasses anymore and blurred vision can really affect your day-to-day living. You are generally stuck unless you carry around spares, if you break your glasses while out or find that you have dropped a contact.

More and more people are turning to laser eye surgery to correct their vision because of all of the inconveniences of not having perfect vision. There must be an understanding that there is a laser eye surgery risk involved, before anyone goes and makes the leap to perfect vision.

There is a lot that must be clearly understood before taking on such a procedure when  it comes to laser eye surgery risk. When you are dealing with your eyes, you really should pay extra attention to your chance of encountering a terrible risk, as you could be left blind, of course, as with any type of surgery, there are always risks involved. It is much easier to make an informed decision on whether or not you want to go through with the procedure, once the laser eye surgery risk is clearly understood. It is found that even though there is a laser eye surgery risk involved, many people still go through with the surgery and come out with excellent results.

Risks Involved

When speaking of laser eye surgery, most people believe that lasik eye surgery is the only way to go, but that is just one of the many different eye surgery options out there. As with them all, the lasik eye surgery risk is still there and should be thought about carefully.  Most of the eye surgeries have the same type of risks involved, generally speaking. It is important to understand the laser eye surgery risk is there for the few that end up with complications, the chances of true vision-threatening risks are small, but they are still there.

There is the chance of infection, as with any type of surgery, or just the matter of taking a lot longer to heal then expected or desired. there is the small chance that your eyes will be overcorrected or even under corrected, because this type of procedure is not yet a perfect art. Also, a laser eye surgery risk is regression, which means that slowly, over time, the eyes will go back to having the bad vision they started with. Regression is the simplest risk because no real harm is caused and a second surgery is generally acceptable, unlike the other types of risks.

When it comes to laser eye surgery risk, there is a lot that must be clearly known before undergoing such a operation…Read more no cost articles at www.lasereyesurgery.jsgenterprises.com.